One Thing NEVER to do Around a Woman (and how to fix it when you do)

There are many things men should not do around a woman. I’m sure you can think of a few. I bet if you and I were to compile a list of “Top Ten Things Men Should Not Do Around Women”, our lists would share many of the same things. (Flatulence is the first thing that comes to my mind. hehe)

However, many men would not include neediness in their list – yet this is perhaps the most important quality to not exhibit to a woman. Many men do not understand the concept of neediness or are not aware that they are being needy. This is most apparent in the small group of men I teach.

MY ROLE

My personal leadership role in my church involves teaching a small group of single men how to become the romantic hero for the woman of their dreams – that’s where I got the idea to create this website. Having worked with men live and in person, I noticed the horrific projection of neediness that men exhibit when they are not aware of how to be a romantic hero. It’s something that I did in the past, and something I took active steps to overcome. I recently introduced the concept of neediness to our small circle of students.

NEEDINESS

Our group has been focusing on the different ways men can internalize and express the concept of not being needy.  Our goal was to really understand that women are absolutely annoyed and disgusted by a needy man. Ask several single attractive women what they think about dating a man who is needy. It is likely the women will respond with an scrunched up face and say, “Gross!” or something along those lines.

Neediness ruins any chance a man has at becoming a romantic hero and women can sense neediness from a mile away. This is a monumentally important concept that affects every single man’s chances of finding a quality wife.

The audio track below is an example of what will NOT get the woman of your dreams attracted to you. If you have done something like this in the past, forgive yourself and move on. You NEVER want to do what this guy did.

If it isn’t obvious, this man is needy – and way too creepy. While most men won’t go to this extent to get a woman’s attention, they do give off similar vibes that a woman can sense. Neediness is largely the reason why attractive high quality women reject average guys. Most guys are projecting neediness even if they are completely secure and not needy! Later in this article and in future posts you will learn how to not give off needy signals – even if you are needy.

Recently, instead of teaching our group how NOT to display neediness to potential romantic interests (like leaving creepy voicemail), I focused on a trait that implies the exact opposite – because positivity is more my style and I have seen better results. People learn better when focused on something positive rather than negative (I learned that from my years studying instructive design and then applying that to real-life scenarios with men I teach). So while teaching men how to avoid needy behavior is effective (and a method I still use when necessary), I find teaching men this positive trait is even more effective at combating neediness and helping them reach the goal of becoming a romantic hero.

THE AMAZING POSITIVE TRAIT

This behavior and resulting positive trait is easy to integrate into a man’s personality, yet many Christian “dating experts” never mention it! But believe me, women can’t stop thinking about a man who does it. It immediately sets the man apart from the rest of the average guys, and she instantly becomes intrigued. If there is one thing that drives women crazy, it’s this positive trait – and it has brought my small group of students amazing results. Interestingly it’s the same reason why men enjoy competitive endeavors such as: hunting, sports, career, and intellectual exercise like puzzles, video games, chess, and math. Why do men enjoy such activities? Because they’re a challenge (pat yourself on the back if you guessed being a challenge is the special trait/behavior). Would you enjoy playing Tetris if you could beat the game in with little to no effort? (meaning it’s not challenging) No. It’s not challenging enough. That’s why it’s so addicting for men to compete. It’s challenging and speaks to their masculine nature.

Women are attracted to men who are a challenge, because it speaks to their feminine nature. Human beings value what they have to work for. Earning a diploma or award is much more gratifying than being handed one for doing absolutely nothing. A woman who earns your attention will value your attention more. Women are naturally emotional and “lovers”. They long to love and be loved. A man who’s love she has to earn, is not only challenging and fun, but it directly speaks to her core nature the way God designed her. Ask one of your lady friends why challenging men are so attractive and you’ll get an interesting perspective. Why do you think women “play hard to get” so often? Becuase they know being challenging is far more attractive than being available. Being available is the consequence of being needy. The romantic hero is always a challenge.

BECOME CHALLENGING

Here are some things that a needy man does:

- tells a woman he is not in a serious relationship with, “I really like you” or “how he feels”
- calls/texts girls 100 times a day
- does favors for beautiful women that he doesn’t do for average women
- goes out of his way to do favors for women he is not romantically involved with
- is polite and apologetic in all his interactions with beautiful women
- puts beautiful, quality Christian women up an a pedastal (this is near idoltery)
- takes women out on typical dates like “dinner and a movie”

Here are some things that a challenging man does:

- treats beautiful and average girls the same
- treats beautiful women like friends
- has a “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours” relationship with women
- says “No” to a beautiful woman
- teases beautiful women like he would tease a little sister
- takes women on fun and interesting dates that he enjoys
- has things going for him other than her
- is a little mysterious and intriguing
- doesn’t reveal everything in the early stages of a relationship
- makes the woman earn his interest, rather than just giving it to her because she is attractive
- gives a little, and expects a little back. When he gives a lot, he expects a lot back.

I have often heard women describe men that they are obsessed with like this, “I don’t know what it is about him. He’s different. He’s challenging.” That’s how you want the woman of your dreams to describe you in the early stages of a relationship.

Future posts will go over why men behave needy towards beautiful women and how to change that behavior. You will learn how to become challenging from your core so it is expressed naturally in your outer interactions. There isn’t a major shift in your personality that needs to happen. Just a few tweaks here and there. I have a great method for learning how to be a challenge that will get the woman of your dreams to instantly be intrigued and attracted to you.

Until then, focus on being aware of when you are being needy. And better yet, challenge yourself to be more challenging in your social interactions, and especially with a woman you are romantically interested in.

As always feel free to email me any questions, comments or concerns. I want you to understand this stuff because I know if you do, you will be the romantic hero for that special girl.

markrose3030@gmail.com

Tagged as: challenging, christian dating, confidence, neediness, single men, social skills